Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dating with Herpes

By Jayde Johanssen

You're back from your physician with some bad news: you've been diagnosed as a carrier of the herpes virus. Take a few moments to compose yourself with the fact that you'll carry herpes forever, but then realize: this isn't the end of the world. You'll still be able to lead a rich, fulfilling life with wonderful friends and family. Herpes carriers aren't different from the unaffected person standing next to them; the main contrast is that increased honesty and restraint is required when you think about having sex with a new partner.

First, we'll start with a bit of an introduction. Herpes is a virus that is transmitted when an infected person engages in sexual activity with a partner. It's important to note once more that, at least for the moment, herpes doesn't have a cure, and stays with the host for the rest of his or her life. Sporadically, the virus manifests itself into blisters and sores that can be itchy and irritable.

So, how does having herpes effect your dating? From the beginning, you need to remain completely honest with your potential partners. Before you even get close to getting into bed, tell your partner about the infection, how it works, what it means to them, and their chances of contracting herpes if you have sex with each other. This doesn't have to be discussed over the first date. However, you will want to make sure that you handle it relatively soon. Above all, you don't want to get yourself into the situation where you're back at your lover's apartment or home, ready for some hot action. This kind of behavior will nearly always cause your partner to steam out of the room, and usually they won't return. Avoid this kind of situation by being honest and upfront.

You may also want to take a look at the various sites that cater to people with herpes. There are numerous benefits associated with these services. For instance, everyone on these sites knows exactly what you're going through. They can offer a crutch to lean on in times of need. You'll also never have to go through the awkward "I have herpes" conversation.

Folks with the herpes virus don't always show symptoms, but it's still crucial to let potential partners know the deal, regardless of whether you have sores or not at the time.

Some drugs control outbreaks, so you may want to check those out. While they might be prohibitively expensive, realize that you really can't put a price on your happiness.

And of course, always wear protection. Condoms aren't bulletproof in this situation, but they certainly go a long way towards keeping you and your partners safe. Herpes is just one of the many STD's out there; others include AIDS and Hepatitis, both of which have very serious consequences.

At the end of the day, realize that your life partner will love you, irrespective of herpes. It's just one small part of your life.

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