The medical world could not function without nurses. It's no secret to any of us who has had a doctor's appointment or been in the hospital that a nurse can make all of the difference in our total experience and recovery process. Whether undergoing a routine procedure, scheduling a simple appointment, or being there beside us while the doctor has a serious conversation, a nurse's presence can determine how well we as the patient copes with the situation and emotionally processes the outcome.
Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, I was checked into the hospital straight from the wound care center. The nurse who was told to push me in the wheelchair to the hospital had to go all through a construction zone maze outside, but ironically, she revealed while she walked that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like I did. I felt like I made a new friend within our ten-minute conversation and much more relaxed by the time I got to the hospital.
As the editor of a magazine called HopeKeepers, I have attempted to find a nurse who would submit an article that would shed some light on what a typical day for a nurse is like at a doctor's office. I realize that it can be frantic, scheduling and rescheduling dozens of people, all who need to see the doctor today. Nurses try to please the physicians, check patients in, take health histories, give out lollipops and smile, all while attempting to do more than can be expected in the time allotted.
I have not yet found a nurse who was willing to even be interviewed for such an article; more than a few have even exclaimed, "If anyone found out, I would lose my job!"
The better chronically ill patients and nurses keep trying to improve communication and increasingly understand one anothers needs however, there is only room for trusting relationships. It's a relationship that (sadly) can last longer than a marriage.
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask what medications I am currently taking, please don't look flabbergasted or skeptical when I pull out a couple of sheets of paper. I'm really not an addict.
[2] It grows tiring to always be the patient and only have people interested in my physical body. When you ask me about how I am coping with my illness emotionally, I feel like you really care. Sometimes it loosens me up enough that I may even be more comfortable and forthcoming about things that doctor may benefit in knowing about the physical symptoms.
[3] Thanks for celebrating little things with me, such as reaching a goal weight or decreasing a medication. I know you see these things every day, but to me they are a big deal. You are one of the few people who understand how hard it is for a chronically ill patient to reach these goals. Your enthusiasm makes me day!
[4] Realistically, I know that you are probably not aware every medication that is on the market, but when you ask me how to spell my medication three times, which happens to have an ad in every women's magazine, I wonder how frequently you get out of the office.
[5] When you say things like, "You cope so well with your disease. I really admire what a great attitude you have," that can keep me going for another week.
[6] I appreciate it when you ask, "Would it be okay if I pray for you?" Some people may say no, but for many it will be the first time some cared enough to even ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] I am what some call a "professional patient" so when I'm in the hospital, I struggle with giving you control over all of my medications to disperse on your schedule. I'm used to taking care of myself and monitoring my own pain levels. When you make an effort to get me my medications on time, I appreciate you going the extra mile. The time of morning I take my medications makes only difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] I know that you are human and must have rough days too. It is okay to tell me, "Today has been a crazy day." You are certainly allowed to be moody, but let me know why in simple terms so I don't take it personally.
[10] I know sometimes when you are trying to get me in for an appointment my schedule can be difficult. I'm not trying to be complicated. Although a great deal of my time is filled with doctor's appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to work around my family's schedule to have as normal of life as possible.
[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.
[12] When I'm stuck in the hospital, I appreciate the way you go out of your way to make it as pleasant as possible. Things like help in the shower, changing the sheets, or having a conversation about something normal, all help distract me from my surroundings. Thank you for treating me like a person and not a project.
Being chronically ill is not easy. Neither is the career of a nurse. By each person remembering to say, "thank you" and "I admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have an effective, even enjoyable, relationship.
Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
Recently, I was checked into the hospital straight from the wound care center. The nurse who was told to push me in the wheelchair to the hospital had to go all through a construction zone maze outside, but ironically, she revealed while she walked that she too had rheumatoid arthritis like I did. I felt like I made a new friend within our ten-minute conversation and much more relaxed by the time I got to the hospital.
As the editor of a magazine called HopeKeepers, I have attempted to find a nurse who would submit an article that would shed some light on what a typical day for a nurse is like at a doctor's office. I realize that it can be frantic, scheduling and rescheduling dozens of people, all who need to see the doctor today. Nurses try to please the physicians, check patients in, take health histories, give out lollipops and smile, all while attempting to do more than can be expected in the time allotted.
I have not yet found a nurse who was willing to even be interviewed for such an article; more than a few have even exclaimed, "If anyone found out, I would lose my job!"
The better chronically ill patients and nurses keep trying to improve communication and increasingly understand one anothers needs however, there is only room for trusting relationships. It's a relationship that (sadly) can last longer than a marriage.
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask what medications I am currently taking, please don't look flabbergasted or skeptical when I pull out a couple of sheets of paper. I'm really not an addict.
[2] It grows tiring to always be the patient and only have people interested in my physical body. When you ask me about how I am coping with my illness emotionally, I feel like you really care. Sometimes it loosens me up enough that I may even be more comfortable and forthcoming about things that doctor may benefit in knowing about the physical symptoms.
[3] Thanks for celebrating little things with me, such as reaching a goal weight or decreasing a medication. I know you see these things every day, but to me they are a big deal. You are one of the few people who understand how hard it is for a chronically ill patient to reach these goals. Your enthusiasm makes me day!
[4] Realistically, I know that you are probably not aware every medication that is on the market, but when you ask me how to spell my medication three times, which happens to have an ad in every women's magazine, I wonder how frequently you get out of the office.
[5] When you say things like, "You cope so well with your disease. I really admire what a great attitude you have," that can keep me going for another week.
[6] I appreciate it when you ask, "Would it be okay if I pray for you?" Some people may say no, but for many it will be the first time some cared enough to even ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] I am what some call a "professional patient" so when I'm in the hospital, I struggle with giving you control over all of my medications to disperse on your schedule. I'm used to taking care of myself and monitoring my own pain levels. When you make an effort to get me my medications on time, I appreciate you going the extra mile. The time of morning I take my medications makes only difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] I know that you are human and must have rough days too. It is okay to tell me, "Today has been a crazy day." You are certainly allowed to be moody, but let me know why in simple terms so I don't take it personally.
[10] I know sometimes when you are trying to get me in for an appointment my schedule can be difficult. I'm not trying to be complicated. Although a great deal of my time is filled with doctor's appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to work around my family's schedule to have as normal of life as possible.
[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.
[12] When I'm stuck in the hospital, I appreciate the way you go out of your way to make it as pleasant as possible. Things like help in the shower, changing the sheets, or having a conversation about something normal, all help distract me from my surroundings. Thank you for treating me like a person and not a project.
Being chronically ill is not easy. Neither is the career of a nurse. By each person remembering to say, "thank you" and "I admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have an effective, even enjoyable, relationship.
About the Author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week held each year in Sept and featuring a 5-day virtual conference online. Follow Invisible Illness Week on Twitter for prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!
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